Ripped White Jeans

{shirt - Urban Outfitters, jeans - Zara, fake birks - Target, sunnies - men's J. Crew Factory}

** Warning! This post is not about ripped white jeans, as I first intended! **

In early May I turned 37, along with my husband who beat me to it 2 weeks before. And since then I've been thinking ... noticing and thinking. It's funny cause my brother-in-law gave the message in church yesterday and it's one that most will not soon forget. They'll talk about nose and ear hairs for weeks, oh, and blessings, cause somehow the two relate. You'd have to hear it to believe it! But anyway, all that to say that he too turned 37 hence the talk about all those weird things that happen to our bodies with age and I'd been considering some of the same things. What's up with 37 anyway? It's giving us all complexes over here. ;)

I mentioned last time that I was pining away for those beautiful baby days. Okay, not pining exactly, but wistful. I think it's because I have to grow up now, now that there are no more babies. Babies keep us young, don't they? I always felt the same age with a baby in my arms or a toddler on my hips. Always 26. Just like the first time. Do you still feel like you're a twenty-something on the inside? I hear people say that fairly often. But now that we're finished having babies, I have to grow with these kids and move on into another phase of life. Sometimes that's just weird, not hard exactly, but a bit weird.

The 20's were lovely, don't get me wrong - newlywed, moved far away from my family, lived in 3 new cities, slept in every morning, suntanned by the apartment pool, went to midnight movies, ate at restaurants way too much, spent lots more time with friends, took art classes, taught dance 4-7 hours a day, went on lots of dates with my husband, took him and our firstborn to South Africa to see if I could give him just a glimpse of my life there, bought our first house, had a second little rolly polly baby. It was a good decade, one full of dramatic life changes. 

My 30's have been way, waaaaay better. My love for my husband changed and grew and became completely new as our kids expanded our family. And then having those children in my life made that life way more beautiful than it was before. Different, sometimes more difficult, but more cherished and beautiful. I traveled much more with my husband, had the chance to have some incredible adventures with him (and sometimes with the whole fam). And life became richer and fuller in every way over this decade.  

So why would I want to feel like I did as a twenty-something when in fact, my thirties have been infinitely lovelier. Maybe it's just cause with age comes worry and that's what we managed to live without then. Without fear and worry. For the most part. 

I wish I could say that I'm really comfortable in my skin as it changes. I wish I was! And I hope that as I eventually go through my 40's and into my 50's, that I'll become confident and comfortable with my body as it is in that stage of my life. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't want to change anything. The thought of having any cosmetic procedures done is completely unappealing. I love natural women who celebrate their God-given beauty and are confident in their freckled/dimpled/wrinkled/curvy/skinny skin. I think natural beauty is truly exquisite. It's just becoming accustomed to changes and then learning to feel as good about myself again that I'm figuring out.

You're probably thinking I'm crazy ... I am too. What huge changes have really occurred by 37, come on! :) 

It's just the little things, nothing dramatic. But it's still different.

There's those touches of grey hair, though really, grey hair doesn't bother me. It might when it starts to come fast and furious all over my head, but for now I'm cool with it. Sometimes I'll see a spot on my hand that looks an awful lot like my grandma's. An age spot?! It's hard to say cause my hands are covered in freckles plus I've always thought I have grandma hands. Grandma hands I can handle. To be honest sometimes seeing the smile lines on my face deepening kinda freaks me out a bit. I want to love wrinkles ... I'm working on that. :) I recently had to walk around a stinking indoor water park for 2 days straight. Boy is that humbling. That's one way to really feel not so awesome and way too vulnerable. Put on a swimsuit and traipse around in your pasty white skin for all the world to enjoy. I usually love my pale skin rather than a deep tan but gosh, a little color certainly helps improve jiggly thighs. It was AWFUL! 

Why write all of this? I've thought that several times over the course of writing it. Do I have a point other than to tell you how that waterpark ruined me? Ha! I guess it's just been on my mind a little more. 

And I hope to join with all of you beautiful women out there who are ready to move forward celebrating our age and how those years (and babies!) have made an impact on our bodies. Hopefully we can inspire each other to love the skin we're in, as the commercials say ;) and be confident with who we are and how we look. Let's try together, shall we?